Hello, second blog update of the year. I've been so busy that I sometimes forget that I have a blog. I'm writing here so that I could remember the things that I went through and feel grateful if things were to get better for me. So, I'm in my third semester now in law school. Week 14 to be exact. This semester is one hell of a ride, I swear. Oh, I'm writing this because I've been trying to ignore my Criminal Law assignment lol. So, this semester is the last semester that I have to take co-curriculum and third language. I hate them both because they're a pain in the ass and irrelevant. Thank god it's over now.
Anyway, I was already in extreme sadness before the semester starts because I didn't get into the hostel. My family is in a tight spot financially and I really can't afford to rent a room. But then I just decided to do it because I was pretty sure even if I make a second application, the hostel would reject it. I'm tired of being anxious every time I have to wait for the results. I told my mum and dad that I would pay my own rent and bills. And I did it without any failure, expect for this one month. BECAUSE MY LAPTOP BROKE DOWN. Just so that I won't forget, it's not my fault. A friend of mine drank water from my water bottle and didn't close the lid properly, and then... you know what happens next. What frustrated me was that person didn't even know about it. Because even if I told them, I'm pretty sure they would ask me 'why did you drink in front of an electronic device??" But in all honesty, I will choose to suffer you know. Money has been a serious issue for me this semester. I pay my own rent and bills, and I don't get to eat whatever I want like I did in the previous semesters. Sometimes I even contemplate whether I should buy a bottle of mineral water because I'm on a tight budget.
I'm not sure when will this end or will it EVER end. I'm really tired of thinking about money every day when I wake up. When I look at my friends who don't even have to go through this pain that I have to go through, it pains me. This journey feels lonely. I know it's not good to complain, but i'm tired. I'm still grateful for all the other things in my life, but this money issue has been dragging me down so bad, that sometimes I can't even think of ways to live. Sometimes I can't even bring myself to be happy because if I do, something bad will happen to me. I used to believe that it is always darkest before the dawn but my night seems to be very long and cold.
Anyway, I was already in extreme sadness before the semester starts because I didn't get into the hostel. My family is in a tight spot financially and I really can't afford to rent a room. But then I just decided to do it because I was pretty sure even if I make a second application, the hostel would reject it. I'm tired of being anxious every time I have to wait for the results. I told my mum and dad that I would pay my own rent and bills. And I did it without any failure, expect for this one month. BECAUSE MY LAPTOP BROKE DOWN. Just so that I won't forget, it's not my fault. A friend of mine drank water from my water bottle and didn't close the lid properly, and then... you know what happens next. What frustrated me was that person didn't even know about it. Because even if I told them, I'm pretty sure they would ask me 'why did you drink in front of an electronic device??" But in all honesty, I will choose to suffer you know. Money has been a serious issue for me this semester. I pay my own rent and bills, and I don't get to eat whatever I want like I did in the previous semesters. Sometimes I even contemplate whether I should buy a bottle of mineral water because I'm on a tight budget.
I'm not sure when will this end or will it EVER end. I'm really tired of thinking about money every day when I wake up. When I look at my friends who don't even have to go through this pain that I have to go through, it pains me. This journey feels lonely. I know it's not good to complain, but i'm tired. I'm still grateful for all the other things in my life, but this money issue has been dragging me down so bad, that sometimes I can't even think of ways to live. Sometimes I can't even bring myself to be happy because if I do, something bad will happen to me. I used to believe that it is always darkest before the dawn but my night seems to be very long and cold.
