First of many firsts

Sunday, 17th December 2017, 12.14 a.m.

          Hello! I havent written for quite awhile. Life has been quite busy, a lot of things happened in a short period of time. On May, I got called for an interview to enter the law faculty of UiTM Shah Alam. I wasn't even expecting anything because sedar diri lol. My result wasn't that good, to be honest. I only consider myself lucky, till this day. Me, a graduate from STPM, went to the interview with literally zero knowledge about what law is all about. I firstly checked whether I got an interview a day after the actual date because I was really sure that I wont even get a call. Then, the next day I woke up at 10 am(lol) and decided, eh, check la why not. And I cant believe what I saw.

          I was literally shaking at that time, I was so happy, nervous and confused hahah. The first person I wanted to tell the news was to my dad because he was the one who has been supporting me and believed in me till this day. With little knowledge on mine and with the help of my friend Khairina who is studying law in University Malaya, I put up my best bravado and went to the interview. It was nerve-wrecking, especially when you see all these kids from asasi, man, I felt really small that day. The questions were quite general since the interviewers know that some of the people in the room are not from asasi. I thought I was going to fail the interview, but another rezeki came to me. I was beyond grateful. 

         One of my lecturers now(Madam Fatimatuzzahra', bless her) was one of the interviewers. On the first day of the lecture, I cried when I got back from class because I was too intimidated with everyone, because they seem to know everyone and everything. Then, I made a few friends. It was really awkward at first because everyone was so stiff and I thought that all these law kids are snobbish lol. I was wrong. Most of them are really nice. I was depressed at first, STILL AM, but I am better at coping with the degree life. It's not easy, but nothing that I can't handle, inshaAllah. At times when I feel weak I just need to hear the soothing voice of my mom, the reassurance from my dad, and everything is going to be fine. I really hope that I'll be able to survive law school. It has been my dream to become a lawyer since I was 16, but I was too scared to believe in myself. Even now it feels surreal for me to even be here. I guess God really listened to my parents' prayers. Up until now I still question whether I really belong in law school, but nak tak nak I gotta suck it up and just play along and do my very best. I hope I can make myself proud.